the nervous system

I wanna shake that guy's hand...

2009-01-15T17:23:00.000-08:00

No one seems to be thanking the skill of the Pilot who successfully crash-landed today's incident - in such a way that everyone got out and the fuselage didn't tear itself apart.

My Dad is a retired airline pilot and he always complained about birds...

Lesson #467 updated

2008-09-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

NYPD: "Well, after we shot that one guy 52 times in Queens, we thought, '....maybe more Taser's?'

On the other hand, I probably wouldn't want to spend an hour in an NYPD uniform, and try to even attempt to enforce the law.

Lesson # 467

2008-09-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

If you're gonna start yelling at people on the street, do it with clothes on; just the same, if a police office suggests he might shoot you with a Taser Gun, make it so that if he, in fact, was serious about Tasing you, you won't fall more than a few feet.

I've been thinking a lot about how when the Police are involved in something, and there's no press around to offer their version of what transpired, the Police literally control what happened as far as what goes on the record as happening. Thus, applying my very shallow knowledge of this very old theory, I'll posit that the man was drunk, shirtless and yelling at people because he was wasted and was also angry, and was simply holding the filament bulb mentioned in the story. Turns out I'm way wrong. The man hadn't been taking his medication(this from the NY Times:)

"Mr. Morales’s mother went to the building, where she found her son out of control, witnesses said. About 3 p.m., she called 911.

Officers with the Emergency Service Unit who arrived at the building were soon chasing Mr. Morales through his apartment, out a window and onto a fire escape. By then he had ripped a long light bulb from a ceiling fixture and was jabbing it at the pursuing officers, the police said.

He then jumped from the fire escape onto the narrow housing of a rolled-up security gate over the storefront on the ground floor of the building, the police said. Mr. Morales again swung the long tube, hitting an officer on the head, the police said.

“He was naked and he kept screaming,” said Joseph Adrien, who works at a nearby dry cleaners. Another witness said Mr. Morales’s mother was kept off to the side, pleading with the police to let her calm her son’s nerves, but being told repeatedly that it was now a police matter."

At least the Times provides more of a dual-sided take by including statements from witnesses; here's an example of what the Post will do with a story like this. Yeah - they'll call him a 'crazy rager'.

What Taser Guns are known for is incapacitating people. I don't know if(anyone's reading this! ha !) you've seen a similar automatic store-front gate before, but if you're standing on one you've only got an inch or two between your toes and the edge, which is typically beveled or rounded, such that falling off of one would be much easier than standing on one. If you're a cop about to shoot someone with a Taser Gun(remember, these things make people lose control of their bodies), and that man is standing on a very narrow ledge, you might spend a split-second on the range of possible consequence: "If this guy falls..."

We lost a really good one friday nite...

2008-09-14T17:14:00.000-07:00

a guy with curious hair

Thank you Dave, you helped restore my faith...

white guilt

2008-08-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

White Guilt from Andy Bauman on Vimeo.

Q: "How was Sweden?"

2008-07-25T20:43:00.000-07:00

when anger is funny... yeah

2008-07-07T20:25:00.000-07:00

So, I'm in a band yeah, and we play in a certain style as you might have guessed if you've read any of this blog - anyway, we got a really kind review on another local blog way more popular than this one, and in the comments after the review, I kid you not, somebody actually said not only does the band suck, but the singer's mustache is lame!

REALLY !

I'm not making this up ! You can't make up things like that!

Seriously amazing stuff. If you want to check it out google 'calico black pyramid' and it's one of the first things to come up. And what's almost better but not quite is that further down the comments another person responds to the meaner comments saying something to the effect of 'your dislike of the band probably has more to with how they stole your girlfriend or whatever than how you actually don't like their music'...

Again! I did NOT make this up ! I was actually kind of put off for about an hour but now I just think it's totally goofy!

T

NY first day

2008-06-14T00:54:00.000-07:00

jesus.

seriously. this place is basically the birthplace of fun. the day started out slow, then D and I met Doni and took a beautiful long walk - then we went to see the BOA's in BK with half of SLC. slightly weird seeing 9 or so Utahns at Pete's Candy Store, but so comforting at the same moment.

(so yeah, this is posthumously posted or whatever because I didn't finish it that night because it got all kinds of crazy as Duffy can attest, so I'm just calling it good.)

(intermission)

2008-06-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

I know I'm supposed to be finishing the calico nw tour stories - but I've found some other wonderful things to help you kill time in the workday. Mondays are hard for slackers...

£ Last night I pulled out a beer cozy as I wanted to enjoy a Pabst Blue Ribbon. After a few sips I wondered if the cozy was ever scientifically proven to ... actually do anything. (read in a boomy, echo-ey voice:)I consulted the internet !(you can stop the boomy voice now... Or.. yeah, you should stop) I found a really awesome page, where some folks scientifically tested the insulating effects of a beer cozy v. an un-insulated can. This is the kind of information everyone should know. It makes me wonder if, had I done this instead of my 7th grade science fair experiment(about why hockey pucks are frozen before hockey games), would I have been dis-qualified?

∆ Andrew Sullivan's blog, which is awesome, pointed me toward this five page screenplay-ish scenario - written by 'West Wing' writer Lawrence O’Donnell Jr. - about what could happen at the democratic national convention. It must take a load of skill to make politics this interesting.

NW tour day two/editing diamond

2008-05-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

Thankfully I had the presence of mind to document a few seconds of the experience of editing the Diamond video; I think this evening I discovered that the thing that actually gives you a headache is how you look up and your eyes focus to infiniti, taking in the scenery, then down to the laptop - focusing on artificial light that's roughly 2' in front of you...

NW day umm, well...

2008-05-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

It's a little confusing at this point which day it is - I think yesterday and today count as a single day.

We had a really cool morning/afternoon yesterday walking around Seattle, soaking up the absolutely wonderful weather, then drove down to olympia ... and it might take me a few days to be able to properly describe the madness that was started by shitdog.

I shall gather my thoughts, try to remember the ordering of events and post an exhaustive one when we get back(which is a bit sooner than expected), that has lots of videos and live bits.

Fuckin' bejesus!

-t

NW tour day three pt. 2/walkin' a round

2008-05-24T18:36:00.000-07:00

A short photo essay(Seattle is always gorgeous whenever I come here, as if it's trying to hug me and get me to stay):

coffee

pike's

NW tour day two pt. 2/driving...

2008-05-24T18:09:00.000-07:00

Despite being stuck in the van, I managed to put this little video together. editing is a pain in the ass when you're in a moving vehicle.
Enjoy !

Other than that, not much to tell as most of the day was in the van. The show was at Jules Maes Saloon, the oldest bar in Seattle; We played with a dude named Nole, who almost jumped out of his friggin' skin he rocked so hard, and watching Hazelwood Motel was like seeing a friend that you really like but for some reason don't spend enough time with - and then sean and I were treated to shots by a very intoxicated girl who said she just got a job as a bartender and couldn't believe how much money she made. I saw the inside of her wallet as she bought my shot(Sean deftly slinked away) and I really hope she was keeping some of her money elsewhere because she had about $6 left. Should I feel bad? Sean pointed out that we are touring, and not making loads of money, or at least not telling people we're making loads of money. I woke up with such a lovely hangover this morning that I left my wallet in the apartment we stayed in - so Andrew bought my breakfast AND an afternoon beer/sushi break as well. What can I say? I'm unemployed.

NW tour day two pt. 1/liam is creepy

2008-05-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

in case you missed it...

2008-05-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

Introducing the Black Pyramid Merchandise...

NW tour day one pt. 2/Flying M

2008-05-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

The show was really fun - Sean and I bought beers at the 'big smoke' and I literally had to lay all the way down in the van and guzzle the second half of it because there were young children everywhere. But the windows are tinted. But the van was RIGHT out in front. Anyway, I felt slightly ... like an alcoholic. And I was a little buzzed so I had to get a coffee. we'd set up shop for blogging purposes while we enjoyed Kinetic:

I felt that we played wonderfully - pretty tight, only very minor mistakes. There's something about playing shows out of town that is easier. No one has any expectations - the guys said I should always feel like that, but still ...

anyway - the two girls sitting in front are Emma and Chelsea; they were really funny, and made us feel very appreciated. They hung out afterward and we all made a lot of really lewd jokes!

The Flying M even went to the trouble of spelling our name right, multiple times, and writing some really nice advertisements for us trying to get people to stick around. Since the show was pretty good, we felt pretty tough:

-t

NW tour day one pt. 1/"Signs of Boise"

2008-05-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

Calico has ventured forth !

We got to somewhere in Idaho(I say somewhere because I'd just taken about a half hour nap judging that I missed most of the Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant podcast we were listening to - which by the way, I highly recommend!) and filled the tank, I walked over to what seemed like an impromptu band meeting by the pump, and Sean said, "wouldn't that be sweet if it stopped at $100.00 even?"

..and it did. I'm not fucking with you, it did.

I didn't just get lucky and not shake when it got to one hundred. We speculated afterward that maybe the pump was programmed to only go up to $100.00, but I assume that if the lcd screen can read $100.00 it could potentially read $999.99 just as easily... this was entertaining to us. Liam has told me it was a place called "Mountain home".

Upon arriving in Boise proper, Liam began reading aloud every sign possible - he gets excited. Turns out he had every reason; I've never seen such consistency in weird signs and graphics. Here are some of the winners:

Sean, holding it down, in front of the big smoke, which you'll notice has some damn cold beers..

...on our way there, Sean instructed me to photograph this truck, I said, "damn, that's one helluva truck":

Then he asked if I saw the sticker...

Later, we saw this church:

and...

Really, ANY occaision?

ok. enough of that. We played at the Flying M tonite, and it was really, really cool. Hopefully we're getting beers with the operators right now... on to the show.

ALSO-
the wordpress blog (andrew) and the myspace blog (brady)

Brady is working on something bigger so the myspace blog might not get as much care for the time being... (end)

Calico's weekend in the NW

2008-05-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

Me and the boys are leaving tomorrow morning for the top few of these:

and then coming back on Monday - we might be playing up to six shows or only five - depending on how sunday goes, as we might get to play a show with Carcrashlander(!) - I shall be updating this blog with pictures, show recaps, and so forth kinds of entertainment.

t

homeless james bond!

2008-05-17T19:10:00.001-07:00

http://view.break.com/498454 - Watch more free videos

we're totally sisters

2008-05-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

City weekly's blog talks about the Open Mic and mentions Murder Pussy! Me and a bunch of cool people made it for the 48hr Film Festival a week ago. Leave a comment if you like it:

t

Me, pissed?

2008-05-14T23:52:00.001-07:00

Yes. It seems I've spent more time being very, very angry in the last week than I've spent sleeping. I don't think I'm as far as having an actual anger 'problem', or as bad as needing to see a therapist in order to channel or quell the anger. I think part of the problem was a truly amazing string of things that just bugged the fucking piss out of me. May hasn't exactly been the best month so far - although I can point to several things that have been really nice, even inspiring. But I've discovered an ironically beautiful marriage of stubborn decisiveness and a quick-to-turn-foul temper that makes me really lay into people as soon as I see even the slightest reason to do so. Last night a certain thing happened that kept me tossing and turning in bed until sometime around 4am, all the while cataloging each of my many character flaws, or alternately telling myself I had every right to be mad and to have called someone out on their insane bullshit and that I really am a good person. This is not a good place to be in; on normal nights where I couldn't sleep I would stay up writing or thinking about an art project - but late night self-torture has got to be the most pathetic way to waste time. I get a very odd kind of depressed. The weirdest, most randomly inconsequential thing can snap me completely out of it.

I haven't had a lot of money to spare lately and have had no shortage of things to spend money on, and so I've been intermittently thinking about how America is sort of based on opportunism, and sort of carried by bold entrepreneurs. I'm hoping that I'm correct in saying that, more often than not, people strive to come up with a good idea to make money off of, or design something people need, and then sell it to them. But on the fringe is this zone where the commodity is unpleasant at best. Seriously, some people make money off of things that seem to be all kinds of bonkers. An ex-girlfriend of mine had a system where men would pay money to watch videos of her feet. In a way, that's brilliant right? I mean, yeah, not a service that the mainstream really needs but, a market existed and thus someone was wise enough to take advantage. Then I read this, about some "professional spammers" who got caught after they sent loads of messages that would re-direct myspace users to gambling or porn sites, and somehow this would turn them a profit. Really? So, wait, you make money by pissing people off? Really. Umm, good job. Maybe even the kind of job where eventually a bunch of young justice-seekers will pummel you in a men's room and then not steal your wallet, but instead choose to completely cover you in their urine.

That feeling of guilty depression I'd recently experienced (which had been sort of taking a nap somewhere inside my right ear) craned it's neck up, blinking it's eyes...

...then the next thing I read was this, about a sports memorabilia dealer (I mean fuck, isn't there enough sleaze in the term 'sports memorabilia dealer' ?) that's recently penned some God-awful tell-all book about how O.J. Simpson fessed up to him, one night when the two of them were all partied out, that he really did commit a double murder, and that somehow there was something that O.J. did to puff his hands up so they wouldn't fit in the black gloves. [I have to laugh every time I think of that video that was relentlessly played on the news of O.J. standing there with his arms outstretched in an uncomfortable sort of way - Johnny Cochran standing next to him also looking kind of confused - and how O.J.'s face seemed to say "why the hell would anyone put things like this on their hands oh my god what the hell are these things that fit partially over the better part of either of my hands this is southern california you idiots my hands are really not cold at all". Remember?] Anyway, the sweaty man who sells over-priced autographed footballs is in trouble with the IRS and has painstakingly spent the last 13-odd years writing this 232 page book about how he actually helped O.J. escape a guilty verdict in the trial. With that much time having passed, releasing this kind of book is sort of akin to punching capitalism in the groin while it wasn't looking. Thievery in a way. But people will buy it, and the guy will make a load of money from it.

and suddenly, I'm not such a bad guy !

sarcasm gone awry

2008-05-01T11:18:00.000-07:00

Sarcasm is a tricky thing. If people don't interpret your sarcasm as sarcasm, then you're in trouble.
I don't really think the bonus clip has any merit(technology backfires on me all the time), but it seems like in the first part she thought she was on Colbert instead of O'Reilly...WTF?

for those that like bikes...

2008-04-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

Calico is playing the Live Green festival(which is May 10 at the downtown library) at 2:30pm - and the PA is strictly pedal powered:

But if you do hop on the bike, this advice - if you slow down or stop the sound cuts out!

update is great

2008-04-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

1. I've been examined - I have a sinus infection. Thanks Urban Lounge!

2. Both bands are going to release their new recordings on vinyl, but I don't have a turntable.

3. Calico is going to tour at the end of May to the Northwest. Apparently I had not told my mother. see notes.

notes:
*I finally bought a new battery for my trusty little powerbookG4 - thus it is once again portable(and bitchin'!).
*Brady is thinking about bringing his video camera and DAT
recorder.
*Technically, if all these items are brought along, we could
"live blog" the whole tour, this time including performances.
*Technically, this would be real sweet. we might make a dvd too.

t

Who cares about FF when you have Blitzen Trapper!

2008-04-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

They were soooo fun to watch, and I know it's kind of a pain to wrap your mind around, but for some reason, when you know it's regular, down-to-earth dudes that are making your rock 'n roll, it's just easier to stomach. I must say Fleet Foxes were probably the most precise band of the evening, and still for the most part nice fellows, but Blitzen won on the battle for hearts and minds.

2 sets / 1 nite

2008-04-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

I don't do this very often. But it is actually pretty fun.

Spike has some solid points...

2008-04-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

Spike Lee's comment on the Clinton's, and snipers, and bullshit; finally someone with a big voice comes out and says that it was a big, yellow balloon full of shitty shit, and she chucked it at the press and everyone that's heard it like a granny-style free throw.

I woulda pulled out of the race as soon as that shit was up on youtube.

New Music Page

2008-04-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

for the bands...

no, hillary, no !

2008-03-27T16:01:00.000-07:00

12% Chance?

pretty town! xxoo

2008-03-06T23:31:00.000-08:00

( ... )

2008-03-03T11:13:00.000-08:00

it really looks like this one dude has super short arms:

I have nothing else to say.

How hilariously un-funny...

2008-02-29T15:08:00.000-08:00

The Israeli Defence Minister has taken to throwin' around the word 'Holocaust'...

I can't even... I don't even... I'm tired.

handy

2008-02-28T18:47:00.001-08:00

There is a man named Mark Poncelet, and he is truly awesome.

If you need to know your computer's external IP address, some Canadian dudes will tell you for free, and instantly(it's not really that mysterious but... still). This will really help if you need to access your home computer from work. Or if you're trying to share screens with your mom to show her how to use iTunes.

top 5 reasons to be patriotic today!

2008-02-28T10:44:00.000-08:00

1.

2. $

3. Congress announces "you can't make hot phone calls anymore".

"Bobby, just eat your damn burger"
4. 143 million pounds of tainted beef is a lot of tainted beef.

5. Why do I have this disconcerting feeling that I'm being very naive when I think we could turn it around?

...movies are made better by cake...

2008-02-27T11:26:00.000-08:00

3 items:

1. The best article containing the phrase "trouser-wards" ever written...

2. John Hodgman inspired me to ... have a blog again..

3. examples to support my thesis, that movies are made better by cake(since people love cake, and movies, the sum of these two things is easily greater than the individual parts). for serious:

..and yet another example, illustrating my point:

Ditched!

2008-02-26T15:26:00.000-08:00

last post was when? about what? years ago? who am I? when?

(future posts will attempt to explain the absence through negative imagery)

Anyway, we must always look ahead. The show must go on...

Updates:

-Calico records this weekend, and a few shows coming up, and we won a "Slammy" in a strange category. If you're a fan of drama - read the comments, and you'll know what it's like to read ANYTHING on the rock salt. I'm saving you frustration by not hyperlinking the rock salt.

-Blue Sunshine Soul's record is nearly done(no shit, I know I've been saying that since we started recording it)BUT an EXCELLENT MAN has just agreed to master it for us, meaning it'll sound fancy..and one rough mix of "Ono" is on the page now as well.

-One could potentially see a cut of "Why Are You Jumping?"
here,
BUT:

A) it takes an amazingly long time to load

B) it's not the final cut of the film

C) you should just ask me for the real version because it will come with the gag reel

D) the title's capitalization is incorrect - my name is spelled correctly though, so five out of seven words is pretty good

On the other hand, you must watch Cake Day!!! as it's amazing AND it's on the same site, so... screw it, watch this version of WAYJ while I try to have them upload the latest edit.

This isn't even really what I was doing all that time. It was a combination of the sunnydeez and sleeping.

It's about that time...

2006-10-29T12:16:00.000-08:00

...For people who mostly have no reason to even go to a film festival to go completely insane over umm, movies... some of which will be in theatres within weeks. Fortunately, it is insanely interesting watching such an array of american tourists, and they've all got cards that are still warm that they love handing you. The cards introduce you to their fledgling production company(no, not a production company that's done one of the films in the festival, or anything.. other than making the cards I guess).
Last year, my band played** in the Stella Artois beer tent during the festival and no less than four people told any one member of the band 'if you're ever in L.A. drop us a line and we'll meet you for drinks or something', but the number of cards we received was harder to tally because individually we sometimes got the same cards, so if you get two of the same cards does that count as two or one? It had to have been somewhere between 12 and 15.

*-due to Orange County noise ordinances, planes have to basically stall right after takeoff, making you feel like you're about to die...I kid not, I sweated away four pounds in that ten seconds when I thought I was doomed. My sister paid attention to the pilot as he explained what was going to happen, so she just giggled as she watched me grabbing frantically at the armrests, because everybody knows grabbing on to the armrests will probably either keep the plane from crashing, or guarantee your survival in spite of the plane crashing.

**-We actually played the same set twice, songs in the same order; nobody noticed.